Coercion & Control In Relationships

This lesson looks at coercive and controlling behaviours in relationships.

Learning intentions:

  • Understand how coercive control can present in a relationship
  • Explain effective strategies to end a coercive relationship
  • Understand ways to address a friend's or partner’s unhealthy/controlling behaviours
  • Know where to go for help and support

Digital Educator: Chloe

  • 12-30 learners

    Class size

  • 10+

    Year Level

  • 60 minutes

    Course duration

  • Two

    Student Handouts

    Preparing for the lesson

    Information
    Resources

    ACHPE Objectives

    UNESCO Objectives

    Safety & Wellbeing

    Sequence
    Extension

    In this Coercion & Control In Relationships lesson, students will learn about the concepts of coercion and control and how these behaviours can change over time to impact safety and autonomy.

    The lesson starts with a short discussion about celebrity or media couples who might represent healthy or unhealthy dynamics. This othering strategy allows students to explore behaviours from a distance. 

    Students will work in small groups for the remainder of the lesson. They will discuss a series of attitude statements that represent healthy, unhealthy, coercive, or controlling behaviours to share knowledge and develop skills in identifying boundaries. The class will then explore scenarios in a stages process, passing the worksheets around until all groups have identified issues and strategies that are relevant. 

    The lesson finishes with students discussing local supports and services that the characters could use. 


    Each lesson ends with a consolidation activity, inviting students to list 1 thing they have learnt from the lesson, 1 thing they already knew, 1 piece of advice they would share with a friend, and 1 adult or organisation that would be helpful in relation to the lesson topic.  

    This lesson is based on the work of The Alice Ruggles Trust Relationship Safety Resource.

    Facilitator Printouts

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    Student Printouts

    Additional Information

    Cool Not Cool Quiz

    That's Not Cool
    AC9HP10P03: Investigate how gender inequality and challenging assumptions about gender can prevent violence in relationships. 
    • Investigating and challenging attitudes that lead to people enacting, excusing, or condoning gender-based violence.  


    AC9HP10P04: Evaluate the influence of respect, empathy, power and coercion on establishing and maintaining respectful relationships.
    • Investigating the characteristics of positive, respectful relationships and the rights and ethical responsibilities of individuals in relationships.  
    • Investigating how the balance of power influences the nature of relationships and proposing actions that can be taken when a relationship is not respectful.  


    AC9HP10P08: Plan, rehearse and evaluate strategies for managing situations where their own or others’ health, safety or wellbeing may be at risk.
    • Understanding the factors that impact a person’s ability to seek, give or deny consent, including when there is an imbalance of power or coercion in the relationship.
    Key Concept 1: Relationships
    1.2 Friendship, Love and Romantic Relationships. 
    • Key Idea: Romantic relationships can be strongly affected by inequality and differences in power.


    Key Concept 4: Violence and Staying Safe
    4.1 Violence.
    • Key idea: Intimate partner violence is wrong and it is important to seek support if witnessing it.
    • There will be students in your class who have experienced domestic and family violence. If students are wanting to take on an OBSERVER role or not actively participate this is ok.
    • Monitor the gender dynamics through these discussions and challenge any outdated gender stereotypes that persist such as men should control the finances or women need to be told what to do. Unhealthy relationships are driven by unequal gender dynamics and impact people in heterosexual and same gender relationships.
    • Be aware that many young people, especially those who struggle with friendships in the classroom may have very rich online relationships and connections. Encourage recognition of the diversity of human connection and the ways the characteristics of healthy, unhealthy and abuse relationships occur online and through technology.
    • Host a structured class debate on whether the media portrays coercion realistically or problematically.
    • Students create a social media post or infographic educating their peers on coercion in relationships.
    • Students create their own "red flag timeline" based on examples from TV shows, books, or real-world cases (e.g., popular Netflix series). Students can present their timeline in pairs, explaining how coercion and control can escalate over time (e.g., love bombing → jealousy → isolation → threats) and what strategies could help.
    Ideally, you will have scope to deliver all of the lessons in your program. However we understand that many schools have limited capacity to do so. Should you find yourself having to implement part of this program, we have provided a suggested sequence of lessons within the broader skills and knowledge categories of relationship, consent, gender, and health & legal literacy. We recommend delivering at least one lesson from each category.

    1. Group Agreements & Pod Mapping should be the first lesson as per best practice.
    2. Sex, Ethics & Alcohol: Can They Mix? is better delivered later in the program when students are more familiar with the Respect Collective curriculum.

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